GM. This is Harry. Bringin’ you more energy than a much-needed Red Bull when you’re out clubbing in your 30s.

I’ve just got one thing for you today.

How to make great friends. And Why.

In the last 22 years…

I haven’t lived in a place for more than two years. I’ve always moved. While growing up I changed schools more than Jennifer Lopez changed husbands.

So all my relationships were short term. I would make friends and have a good time, then say goodbye, then move, and then do it all over again. 

So I got good at it. 

Until now, it’s been great to go out for a drink, or lunch, or coffee. It’s fun to even have a chat about mutual interests - but recently I got to the point where I needed help. 

Not money, or skill or anything else - just help. Support. The ‘un-manly’ stuff.

There were things going on that I couldn’t do on my own and it was a little overwhelming. In the past, I’ve just taken it in and figured out a way. But you know how it is - when you’re got something on your mind draining you, it’s much harder to switch off.

And it’s hard to find the energy to do things that are usually fun. It’s harder to be around family. It’s harder to watch TV. It’s harder to enjoy life just walking your dog down a peaceful street in the evening. 

So I did something I hadn’t done before.

I shared my challenge. I shared WHAT I FELT with close friends, even though it was uncomfortable and even though it felt a little weird. I told them I was facing some hard decisions and it was a little overwhelming - and you know what?

They snapped me out of it. They gave me the support I was hoping to get. 

After all this time, only in the last two weeks have I fully appreciated having good friends. And it feels great knowing that support is still there if I need it.

And every year…

I participate in the Push-Up Challenge in June. The challenge is simple - do over 3,000 pushups in 21 days.

The number of pushups represents the number of lives lost to suicide in the prior year. And the number…KEEPS. GOING. UP. 

Years ago, I just did it for the fitness. Now, I understand the message behind the effort.

Everyone struggles at some point. But not everyone has good friends. Or courage to talk to them.

If that’s you - here’s how you can fix that problem.

If you’re stubborn - remember this is not a zero sum game. Sharing the challenge doesn’t mean you lose or ‘someone has to bear the burden’. This is a win-win scenario. You get help. And your friends feel great for helping.

You’ll find that life will be easier when you share the challenge with someone you trust.

If you don’t have good friends, go find them now. They’re out there. All you have to do is share your interests in the world and do it vocally. Like-minded people will find you. And they will support you when you need it. 

And if you’re REALLY lucky - your friends are more successful than you are. So you can learn from them. So you can look up to them. So you can listen. So your ego doesn’t play a role when it comes to money, status or fancy things. 

Here are a few tips on making great friends:

- Give first. And give last. 

- Give things that mean something. I like giving books that changed my life. I sometimes buy them and write a note in the front page.

- Reflect on the energy you feel after you’ve caught-up with a friend. If you feel alive and full of energy - great. If not, something’s wrong.

A lot of people online recommend the book ‘how to make friends and influence people’. I’ve read it, and it’s not a page turner. Besides, you can summarise that book into two words: 

1. Respect

2. Acknowledgement

Give those two things to everyone you meet. It’s harder than you think because the voice in your head won’t be so kind. But do it anyway. 

In 3 months, you’ll have made more connections. And if you’re lucky, maybe there will be friends among them 😌 

Finally, here’s something you can ask yourself:

When was the last time I really struggled with something? Who did I rely on? When was the last time I saw them and said thanks?

Hava great week.

Harry

P.S. If you enjoyed this, forward it to a friend. If you don’t have a friend yet, forward it to an enemy.